TRAUMA STORIES

To start, could you share a bit about your journey? How did you come to face so many traumas and losses, and what led you to embrace God, life, and hope through it all?

 

It started when I was a young girl with parents who were so young. My mom and dad were married at 16 and 19 and my older brother was born a few months after. I was 20 months younger. My brother was adventurous and always getting into mischief and bringing this to me. We live in a 20×20 ft cabin style home. 

 

dad was an alcoholic and had shock treatments and spent time in the psyche ward for anxiety. He and my mom became Christians when I was 3 years old. so much changed through this which I’m thankful for. 

 

Growing up I attended a different school every year and sometimes 2 in one year. 

At a young age my older brother was involved with drugs and alcohol and ended up the remand at 14 and then went to jail for 12 years of his life. He experienced a lot I will never know. 

 

As the family grew my parents had 8 other children younger than me. Many of them were involved in drugs and alcohol and other addictions. My parents still living in poverty couldn’t maintain or keep things in alignment. There was a lot of chaos. 

I moved out of home young and went to bible college. something in me wanted a different life. My parents did the best with what they knew to do but there was a lot of trauma and unexpected’s constantly coming up in such a large family. 

 

dealing with moving and transitions and meeting new friends as well. 

 

My 14 year old brother died in 1999 and it was unsolved. This was a pinnacle impact for me! I started a journey of healing. 

 

I married in 1993 and had 4 young children by June of 2020. 

I was slowly transitioning to my own family and letting go of identity with my original family. But there were always needs and expectations on me. 

 

As I raised my own children it was farther between for our home. But I did have some siblings live with me at different times and they struggled with addictions. 

 

The last 5 years I’ve had 2 siblings die (one from overdose and one from unsolved) and my father who embraced God all these years died of suicide this last November. What a shock! 

 

my sister had 4 adult children and a 3 1/2 month old baby boy who is now our adopted son. 

 

There are many other traumas through my lifetime. Also going through my children’s teenage years and their struggles. 

 

Each time I went through a trauma shock I would feel hopeless, alone, confused, grieving and not know what to do. Every time I would feel God pick me up and put pieces back together. He brought the hope. 

I even have a story I wrote about painting a picture of hope and how God spoke to me through this experience. Very profound. It was like hope unfolded as I painted and the tears flowed. 

I had discovered a relationship with God back when I was 3 and somehow He’s always been present in my life. 

 

I would like to be interviewed on how I’ve overcome through so many traumas, losses and embrace God and life and hope.

 

 

That sounds like a powerful and inspiring topic. Let’s dive right in!

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and impactful story. It’s clear that your journey has been filled with many challenges, but also moments of profound hope and resilience. Let’s dive deeper into some aspects of your experience.

1. 1. Turning Points: You mentioned several pivotal moments in your life, such as the loss of your brother and the transition to Bible college. What were some key turning points that significantly shaped your path towards embracing God, life, and hope?
   2. Faith and Resilience: How has your faith played a role in building resilience and finding h
   3. ope through the toughest times? Can you share specific instances where your faith provided strength and clarity?

Feel free to share as much detail as you’d like. Your experiences can offer tremendous insights and inspiration to others.

there was another time where I had such trauma my body wouldn’t allow me to walk for 7 weeks!! My heart ached so deep! This was to do with one of my kid’s relationships as a teenager. 

 

Then when my sister died her older kids were hurt and didn’t want me to have their brother so you can imagine the pain and rejection that happened there and is still a journey. 

1. I have a piece that I recorded from an experience with God called “Hold my Ashes” and it’s where Jesus came to me in a vision and He asked “daughter give me your ashes” I couldn’t! I wouldn’t! I had ashes filling both my arms metaphorically and so full!! He is so patient with me and waits and I just could not. I said “these are MY ashes! these are all the pains and griefs I’ve paid a price for. I’ve EARNED these ashes! 

    

   this is when He stepped right up to me and wrapped His loving arms all around me and wept with me. All those ashes in His embrace! Me in His embrace! Something broke in me that day! I was changed! 

   For the 2 1/2 years before that I had felt like I was sitting in an electric chair on low voltage and waiting for someone to flip the switch. That’s how much rejection and slander came at me. 

    

   Another time I went forward for prayer with an aching heart and a young man prayed for me. He asked what I wanted prayer for and I said “for my heart to stop hurting!” As he prayed I felt the hugest tear come out of my eye, beyond normal size. I believe this was spiritual. I knew it was God crying with me! 

    

   Each time it was like God wooed me to Him. He was patient and gentle with me and He brought truth back to me! I believe worship and scriptures were a big part of helping me, but also hearing Him speak to me in the silence and aloneness. 

    

   My father was a great man of faith! More than any man I’ve ever known! He was my hero and still is! He taught me to trust God no matter what! To not give up! To believe! to Hope. He wrote songs and poems. I do the same. I write songs and stories. 

   My faith has been strengthened through my spirit receiving truth through others, God’s spirit and voice and worship and scriptures. Also in nature. just being. 

    

   Words give me life! I hear life in words! 

   Your responses are profoundly moving and offer deep insight into your journey. Let’s explore some more aspects of your experience and insights.

   1. 1. Healing and Recovery: You’ve mentioned some incredibly intense moments of trauma and healing, like the vision of Jesus asking for your ashes and the profound experience with the young man praying for you. How have these experiences influenced your approach to healing and recovery? What practices or rituals do you follow to maintain your emotional and spiritual well-being?
      2. Inspiration and Guidance: Your father’s influence and your own creative expressions through writing and music are clearly significant in your life. How have these inspirations and your creative outlets guided you in times of difficulty? Can you share a specific poem, song, 
      3. or piece of writing that encapsulates your journey or offers hope to others?

   Feel free to elaborate as much as you’d like. Your story is not only inspirational but also a powerful testament to resilience and faith.

   Thank you! It was very intense and profound these experiences. When I’ve shared with others they’ve also had healing and revelation for their own situations and circumstances. 

    

   My approach to healing and recovery is to listen and hear what God is saying…listen to what the other person is needing…respond to self-care for my own spirit, heart and mind and body so I can heal.

    

   An example was last week I call it going at “Stacey pace” and I can deal with my own journey and pain to bring to Jesus and take it to a safe place. But when my husband was stressed and needed help I felt an overwhelm. I hadn’t accommodated in my sanctuary space for his pain. So I had to run back to hope in Jesus. I have friends who relate with me in this and encour

   age me and pray for and with me as I do for them. 

    

   I wrote a song for my dad called “Goodbye” that I recorded for YouTube on Father’s Day. The first one with him gone! 

   1. I stay away from crowds when I need to heal. I’m such a communicator and community person I need to pull back and out so I won’t pour my trauma on them and trigger them. I have learned this in my 55 years of life and as a mom to 4 adult children and their partners and my 5 year old son. 

       

      Thank you yes my father’s influence and creative are significant. Most significant. I would play piano and write songs for hours as a teenager and it kept me out of addictions. I have written over 500 songs. My dad has written 2000 poems and hundreds of songs. The biggest disappointment was not publishing them! 

       

      One special time was back in 2020 where I brought my dad on a FB live with me to share his faith stories and then we sang Amazing Grace together and also one of his songs. We played this video at his celebration of life service and it was very moving. 

      he and I also released a song around 911 called “A Canadian Tribute to America” he wrote the words I wrote the music and I recorded in a professional studio. It was played on some radio stations. Pretty amazing! 

       

      My first song with dad was when I was 7 and I wrote these words “Oh it’s a sunny day when Jesus comes to stay, when Jesus comes to stay. We never need to fear for God is always here, Oh it’s a sunny day.” It was so special when dad wrote music to my simple words and then created a full song with verses and a chorus and a bridge. I will never forget this! 

       

      Last year dad had a stroke in Jan 2023 and my sister paid her friend to come and record a few of his choruses. This is also very special. I worked with dad on each of them to get the melodies correct and I have those recordings forever! 

       

      A song that means a lot to me is after my sister and brother died in 2018 and 2019 I wrote this song “Let me love you” it’s a love song from God to me. I had to embrace it for myself before sharing with the world. 

       

      The first verse is “No matter where you go. No matter where you go. No matter who you be. I love you.” In 2022 (21 years after releasing “A Canadian Tribute to America) I released this song on YouTube and made a video to go with it. 

       

      One of the things that is most important to me is to embrace the dreams that God put within me and that He has for me. To not live life for just every day but to create and build and love and grow and impact. This brings hope. 

       

      I’ve found that just being me and sharing love and a smile touches others with hope. Jesus in me. 

      Your journey of healing, creativity, and profound faith is incredibly inspiring. Let’s delve into the final questions to round out your story.

      5. 5. Balancing Roles and Self-Care: You’ve mentioned the importance of self-care and balancing your own healing while supporting others, especially within your family. How do you manage to balance these roles effectively? What advice would you give to others who are trying to support their loved ones while also taking care of themselves?
         6. Legacy and Impact: You’ve shared many beautiful memories and creative endeavors with your father. What do you hope to pass on to future generations through your music, writing, and faith? How do you 
         7. envision your legacy impacting others?

      Please take your time to respond. Your insights and experiences will provide valuable guidance and inspiration to others facing similar challenges.

      If I could go back I would have made a schedule for when I had a new baby and we were in transition. It would have helped me so much more in my mental and emotional state. 

      5. I discovered ashwaghanda from my one son and it’s helped so much being and adaptogen. Especially through grief. 

         I should be walking and more on a better diet. But for me calm, quiet, organizing, a good cup of tea, popcorn and chocolate as snacks I’m like a pug in a rug lol 

          

         I couldn’t have made it without my husband and kids, extended family and friends. I had people praying for me often. It was special when I joined an online christian entrepreneur community and so many kept sending me messages and prayers and prophetic and blessings. for 3 years I copied and pasted every conversation. I record on voice memo. I wrote things down. I had transcriptions done. Each of these words touched me deep. They gave life where I needed life the most. Words! Words! Words! 

         In regards to legacy and impact I want my life to shine and bring joy and love and hope and peace to others. That’s Jesus! Jesus in me! I always find I desperately need to come back to a place of peace and healing. A safe space. It’s like I’m going into an incubator with God as He’s growing me in His “spiritual womb” once again. I love to share this with others through my own pronoun stories and my experience and life. I am working on a program, writing my story, a movie ideas and songs and more to bring encouragement, dreams, hope and inspiration to other christian moms and christian women. If I can do it they can do it too!!!  

         Thank you for sharing these additional details. Your journey and insights are indeed inspiring and will resonate with many. Now, let’s finalize your story and content creation.